Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Friendship for Females in the 21st Century?

I wonder when Laura Ingalls Wilder was birthing babies whether she had to send up smoke signals to the townswomen to come and help get baby Wilder through the birth canal?  Some women had assistance just because they were born a life of privilege.  For example, Scarlett O'Hara...  We all know that Scarlett had Prissy to summons the doctor because as Prissy stated,  "Lawzy, we got to have a doctor. I don't know nothin' 'bout birthin' babies!"   (I just had this memory of Carol Burnett playing Scarlett and wearing the curtains, with the rod,  as her dress... Oh goodness, that was darn funny!  Did you see that episode of The Carol Burnett Show? )  I digress...

Laura lived a simple life and did not have the benefit of a "Prissy".  So, did Laura have to say to the local Daughters of the Revolution (DAR) "Hey, I might need your help with passing a bowling ball through a straw this week...."?  Or did her friends within the community know that Laura was going to need help, whether she asked for it or not?

I like to think it was the latter and I do not think I am too far off the mark.  I believe that women took care of each other.  Their lives were centered around the community and it truly "took a village."  Today, we are all so busy that we have forgotten what it means to just be there for other people.  And as prideful as most of us are, it is difficult to ask for help.  For me, I feel that everyone is too busy with their own lives so "how dare I ask for some of their time..."  I truly believe that this mentality is detrimental to us as a people.

Recently, I have some instances that have affected me directly that I want to blog about.  These instances restore my faith that there ARE good people that think of others.  I strive to be one of these people.

The first is Donna.  I have not known her long, but when my mother-in-law died last year, she left mums on our doorstep for when we returned.  Her note was that she was praying for us and if we needed anything, to give her a call.  How thoughtful!  I'm ashamed to admit that when Donna had some surgery recently, while I had good intentions to cook her some meals, my life kept me too busy to return her kindness.  I regret that to this day.  Is there a way to make up for that lost opportunity?

The next woman that goes beyond kindness is my friend Laura.  She is a professional photographer and will be taking the photos of the wedding.  Laura always shows me kindness by giving of her time freely.  She loves the art of photography and it shows because her camera is attached to her hip.  She's funny and brutally direct.  I love that about her!

My friend Karen supports me creatively.  She is always full of amazing ideas and knows when I need help, whether I ask for it or not.  She just says "I'll come over on Saturday and we will figure it out."  I can always count on Karen!  We have had some of the best laughter moments together.

When I lost my job, losing all of those people that I worked with for 11 years were like I lost a piece of my "family".  Yet, you always know your friends for life and those are the ones that stick with you.  My friend Dale is that type of friend.  She texted me out of the blue the other night asking for my address so she could send my daughter a little something.  We had not invited Dale to the wedding because she does not know my daughter personally.  Her kindness astounded me.  I begged Dale to come to the wedding and she's promised me that she will.  I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that if I were in trouble, Dale would either bail me out, or she would be sitting in the cell with me in the same amount of trouble!!!

My dear friend Abby lives 1000 miles away from me, so our visits are few and far between.  But that doesn't stop mine and Abby's long conversations on the phone about our lives.  Abby is great at listening and keeping me sane.  When I say something stupid, Abby makes me think about my stupidity.  If I cannot think clearly through a situation, Abby is always there to play devil's advocate, or to just listen.  Abby never meets a stranger and she makes me a better person.

I cannot forget my most faithful female friend:  My mom.  My mom is pushing 71, yet she will still come over and work like a dog in my house to help me clean it, or help with crafts before this wedding.  I am so thankful for her.    

Let's go back to a time where helping people is the norm.  Even if those people never utter the first word in asking.

Keep creating friends.  It's good for the soul.  And so is friendship...

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