Friday, April 26, 2013

Fashion Friday - Apples

Okay, before I get started today with my weekly fashion faux pas (and if you have read my other fashion posts, you know one is coming...), I want to say that my "Fashion Friday" title may be the result of my addiction to blogs.  As I was reading through some of my favorite blogs, I realized that there are a lot of us that use the "Fashion Friday" title to talk about, well... Fashion.  

And in my defense, I was not copying....  At least, I did not realize I was... It just rolled around in my head until I thought "Fashion Friday!  That's sounds like a great title and it forces me to show off my lack of style every Friday!"  I have to say that it just sounds right.... It rolls off the tongue...  It's "cutesy"...  

Roll with it friends!

On to fashion:  Unless you live under a rock, you most likely have seen men walk around with their pants hanging off their bum....  (On behalf of all of us moms, this just looks ridiculous.  Seriously...)

Justin Bieber... You know his momma is probably cringing... "I taught that boy better!"  Okay, maybe that is what I would have said if he was my son...    Really?

So you can imagine what I said when I noticed this:

Yep, that's my pants with my crotch almost to my knees... Okay, almost halfway to my knees...  (This New Year's resolution to "not exaggerate as much" is getting on my nerves!)  Do you think I could start a new trend with this look?  Middle-aged women with low hanging crotches?  

That last phrase sounded better in my head.

  And yes, my zipper does not lay down flat....  Why am I still wearing these?

On Fridays, it is "bluejeans" day at work.  We pay $5.00 for the privilege to wear the jeans and that money goes to a local charity.  I like my little bluejeans Capri pants.  Because I get hot easily, I cannot wear bluejeans all summer long.  So these Capri pants fit the bill.  But I think pants that fit are a better choice.  

My body type is an "apple".  Which basically means that I carry my extra weight in my upper torso with most of my weight focused in my mid-section.  (Lucky me!)  My legs are thinner than the rest of my body and it can make buying pants a problem.  If I get them to fit around my tummy, they generally hang around my legs, hence the sagging crotch.  

With my new commitment to learn how to style myself, I wondered how an "apple" should dress.  

So I "googled"....  Googling is my favorite.

Here are some fashion tips for all of us "apples" out there:

  1. Wear boot cut or wide leg.  What I've been reading is apples cannot wear skinny jeans under any circumstance.  I protest this.  And I will capture pictures in a later post to get your thoughts.  I protest this because I LOVE skinny jeans/pants with the right pair of shoes.  Like a pair of boots... or some wedges.  Sometimes, I want to wear a skinny pant.
  2. Wear stretchable fabric.  (Duh.)  Stretchable fabric has been my friend since puberty.  In fact, I believe stretchable fabric has never left me like some of my other friends have.  Always loyal, always true. 
  3. Purchase a "long leg line".  Because 5' 3 1/2" can totally find a "long leg line."
  1. Purchase button down shirts and tailored jackets.
  2. Purchase tops long enough to hit the hip area (hit below waist line) to hide the problem area - ya' think?
  3. Purchase ‘V’ neck tops which give a natural slimming effect.

I will blog pear, hourglass, and tube body shapes in future posts. 

What are you creating this weekend?



"Every artist joins a conversation that's been going on for generations, even millennia, before he or she joins the scene."  John Barth


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