Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Friendship Series - The Pursuit of Friendship

To every thing there is a season,and a time to every purpose under the heaven… Ecclesiastes 3:1
I’m sure you have seen the email that has made its round on the internet a gazillion times since the beginning of the Internet (when Al Gore invented it).  The one that says something like:

“Some friends are only for a season… Others are for a lifetime.  Forward this email in the next 60 seconds to 10,000 friends otherwise a hairy mole will appear on your face in the morning…”   

Okay, maybe I embellished the last part.  But, you know the one.   

As a woman who has had my share of “come and go” friends, it prompted me to question:  Are friends for a lifetime, or are they just for a season, whatever that season may be? A season may be just a summer, or a season may include all of our lives.   Is friendship fleeting?  Can we women not have life-long friends?  Or are we supposed to come in and out of each others lives as we need each other?

My mom is always saying “Women don’t like me…”  And I, like her, have had my share of revolving friendships.  I will have a friend today and then tomorrow, that person does not want to talk with me any longer.   Or maybe I do not want to talk with them. 

It got me to thinking: We as a society have great examples of great women relationships.   Just look at Laverne and Shirley

Need I say any more? 

Come on!  They are a perfect example!  Two opposite women in a long term friendship who forgive each other their faults and make each other better. 

Sidenote:  Do you remember the episode where Laverne and Shirley join medical studies in order to make a little extra money?  Laverne's is the "sleep deprivation" study and Shirley's is the "food deprivation" study?  OMGoodness!!  It still makes me giggle.

Just watch:

Shirley always believes she has the moral high ground over Laverne, but in the end, Laverne teaches Shirley acceptance and love.

And what about the women on Sex in the City?   Here you have four, very different women.  Yet, through all their flaws, they forgive each other.  Though they are different, they come together and connect.  There appears to be no jealousies.  No envy.  They are very honest with each other, which can be brutal, yet, they are four women who want what is best for each other.  That is always evident in each episode.

I know these are TV shows, but can we women have this type of connection in "real life"?  I have friends that no matter what happens in our lives, we pick right back up where we left off.  We can go years with no contact and when we see each other, it is as if we spoke yesterday... So why do we have to wait so long in between to see each other?  Are our lives so busy that we cannot set aside time for those that we love?  Can our husband and children really not survive without mommy around for a few hours? 

And why are some friends just for a season?  Do we really change that much during the relationship? 

Well, I'm going to be writing about some of the women that have touched me during my life.  I want to explore our friendship and the joy that it brought to my life.  I hope we can enjoy this series together.  What are your great examples of friendship?  Why do you believe that some friendships do not last the test of time?  I'd love to hear your thoughts.

I tell my daughters all the time that "To have friends, you must be a friend." Just like any relationship, friendship must be cultivated, nurtured and valued.   I hope my girlfriends know that they are important to me.

"You can't use up creativity.  The more you use, the more you have."  Maya Angelou

Keep creating friends!




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